ISKCON guru teaches us to glorify porn Swamis

ISKCON guru teaches us to glorify porn Swamis

If you don’t know to select a guru, you can always go with ISKCON retarded guru tattva.

Back in the day, when Prabhupada was present on this planet, he was spreading the real knowledge. Knowledge of discrimination. Real knowledge sounds like this:

Blind following means: “Oh, there is a swami. So many thousands of people are following. Let me become his disciple.” This is called blind following. You do not know what is that swami, whether he is a swami or a rascal. You do not know. But because everyone is going, “Oh, let me become his disciple.” This is blind following, without any knowledge, blind following.” (Bhagavad-gītā 4.34-39, Los Angeles, January 12, 1969)

Ah, you ain’t gonna find this knowledge anymore. But ISKCON corporation knows that real guru business is not so profitable. Therefore, the Gestapo body commission introduced retarded guru tattva. Don’t laugh, retarded gurus are very important. Otherwise, who would lead all the retarded followers?

How to recognize retarded guru, it’s very easy, he is always smiling, and always telling you to “chant Hare Krishna and glorify devotees, and never criticize”. Here is an example of a retarded guru that you can get stuck with:

What is wrong with this photo? Well, the wrong idea presented here is that vagina touching Swami from Gaudiya-math is actually Vaisnava. If you don’t know the history of Paramadvaiti Swami, here is a refresher:

Paramadvaiti Swami’s night massages with girls

So, ISKCON guru, Kratuji Maharaja (don’t forget to add “ji”, this is very important) advises us to always glorify vagina-touching Swamis, always talk nice about them. Furthermore, we should also pray to the lotus feet of the vagina-touching Swamis. I mean that is the only way to advance spiritually. I don’t understand, why not pray to girlfriend’s vagina directly?

So, if you join Kratuji Maharaja sampradaya by becoming his disciple, you should always follow his divine instructions.

I was such a fool, I taught that Sacinadana “loverboy” Swami will be removed from sannyasa position in ISKCON because he is traveling with his girlfriend for the last 10 years. Man, I was wrong, we are not even allowed to criticize sahajiya Swamis outside of ISKCON, what to speak of those inside ISKCON. All the sannyasis in ISKCON are purest of the pure, and their girlfriends are also very pure. And the only way how Sacinandana Swami is surviving is because there are many mini-gurus such as Kratuji Maharaja, who are making sure that their disciples remain stupid enough so that they can be cheated.

Oh damn, I forgot that Kratuji Maharaja is on the ISKCON guru list, everything he writes is completely divine. Anybody who says anything against Kratuji Maharajaji will be kicked from ISKCON. Because the purest of the pure members of the Gestapo body commission voted for Kratuji Maharajaji. He is “approved”. Well, if they voted for him, then he must be pure, and he is pure, almost as pure as Paramadvaiti.

Now, I am toast, I will soon experience severe Vaisnava aparadha reactions. Of all Vaisnava aparadhas, the worst is Facebook aparadha, where you criticize pure devotee’s memes, retarded quotes or other divine nonsense that he posts online.

And of course, the best way to fight opposition is to dance.

 


Shares